i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
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