Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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