she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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