Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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