I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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