We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
