we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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