i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
