I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize