i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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