I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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