Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
