Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
