we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I take back everything I said about communal showers
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
