everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
