no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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