Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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