White coat. Heels.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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