I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
