She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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