wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
