I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize