did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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