so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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