dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize