3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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