I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
