maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
