Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
