Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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