and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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