So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
