i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Randomize