Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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