If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It was confusing and full of hummus
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I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
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I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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