Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
