It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
