I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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