guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
