you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
