I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
