Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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