I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
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