I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
