Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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