oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
