Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
