this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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