Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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