I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
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