Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
