What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize