im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
