I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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