I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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