she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
