You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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