I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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