i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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