Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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