I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Can I color on your dick again?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
